January 2012
I wish my life had a deep back story
Something cool. like, my parents work for the CIA and im secretly some kind of magician that has to save the world. Or i have a spirit inside me that used to be evil and all these people are trying to destroy me because of it.
so basicaly my life is boring
When a cute guy tries to talk to me on FB:
when a 40 year old man guy tries to talk to me on FB:
I LOVE ZELDA xox :D
Cant get this damn song out of my head.
So here we go, we’re walking on. Side by side and arm in arm. I stand and count the dissapearing dreams. But through the fog my friends are what I see. You’re on the path that you seem to know. But you don’t know where to go. And in the darkness it seems to be. That there’s another me. Just let it out, blood thirsty shouts. They stab my heart when you let out those awful...
“Jaden, this guy called your mother fat. I farted on him. He doesnt know it yet.”
– Me
Playing With Telemarketers
I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.
ME: Hello.
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.
ME: Is this AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: This is AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: Is this AT&T.?
AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron, please?
ME: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
ME: OK, hold on.
At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
ME: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
ME: May I ask who is calling, please?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: The phone company.
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.
ME: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!
ME: 7 days a week.?
AT&T: That's right.
ME: 365 days a year.?
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
AT&T: We think so!
ME: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
ME: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?
AT&T: Excuse me?
ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about?
ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.
ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.
AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for
ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?
AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.
ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.
At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.
SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron?
ME: Yeah.
SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
ME: Is This A T &T?
SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.
ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be Careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.
SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
ME: Thank you.
I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.
AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.?
ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...
AT&T: *click*
Re-updated.
fuck yeah
Today jake played the piano for me. I'm almost...
He’s so sexy when he plays the piano omfg
When me and Kiauna were little we would always...
I was Jaden (The one on the Bottem) and Kiauna was Jesse (blue hair)
Good ol’ days. Now looks at us
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!?!?
“Jake Wilson is the coolest person ever.”
– Lily hillbilly
When eminem tries not to smile.. →
onlylolgifs:
funniest10k:
More hilarious gifs here!!
Watchthe-absolute-funniest-posts:
I DID NOT CATCH THIS JOKE WHEN I WAS YOUNGER
And I thought this was a kids show. XD
I GET IT NOW
I recommend following this blog, you won’t regret it!
People on twitter...
My friends like, “I wish I had a parent figure in my life”
First of all, that’s horrid word choice. It’s parental too, not parent. Second, she lives with her grandma who has raised her since she was two when her parents passed away. YOU HAVE A RESPONSIBLE PARENT IN YOU LIFE. If it werent for her adopting you, you would be in a fcking orphanage.
When I try to explain...
popcornmassacre:
Fun Fact!
SOPA Stands for Stop Internet Piss on me fucking piss on me but do it in the antarctic so that the pee freezes in mid air while you are pissing off a building and the piss turns to spear’s impale me with frozen urine and then shit on my butt corpse. im a fat gay and i want to go to Ice Hell Act
